I WANT YOU TO KNOW

insomnia

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

he is not sleeping well these days..due to the exams stress.... wish i can help him.but wat can i do? i dunnoe. hai..sad to see him like this but everyone gotta go thru this phase..very soon it'll be my turn.very soon indeed. thot of buying him lunch again.... hmmm shud i? it's a bit late though...i dun wan to disturb his sleep lei...haiya how how.... nvm la...i shall decide in five ins time from now.....

am i a distraction or wat..

Saturday, April 16, 2005

shud i leave him alone or shud i give him support ? y am i always giving him excuse to slack? i know i am the main reason for his wasted time. i am as angry at myself as i am towards him. i am angry tt he went back on his words again. assure he'll study and in the end went to sleep again. angry tt when i asked him seriously bout his studies..he'll act like a clown and avoid the qns. i think i am allowing him to slack by meeting him for dinner all the time. i need to cut down ..or rather i need to stop. honey, if i am too harsh forgive me but something gotta be done. my exams are around the corners too. i can feel it coming. i'm getting scared. damn scared. i wan to do well... so pls dun give me any stress. when i say i wan to study and dun wan to meet u.. pls be supportive. when i wan u to study and not waste ur time pls be understanding.
i am damn fucking pissed with myself cos everytime i say i wanna leave u alone to let u study i can't seem to do tt. either u wan to meet me or i miss u. pls.. stop... stop wasting one whole big chunk of time doing things tt shud be done when we are extremely free..like watching movie .. are we like crazy or wat!!!!!!!!! damn it... i shud have asked him to go back early...but i'm scared he'll say things like " wah now like that la... wan to chase me away already la... ok..then i go now.. dun meet u next time.." ..... the moment he say something like this..he really put me in a spot. though i know he's joking..still i dunnoe wat to reply. i fear tt his mood will be spoilt. haiya... i am really damn tired..seriouslyi dun know when he'll attack me using wat i've said. he like to read betw the lines and catch me off guard. ask him to go study he'll say dun wan to tok to him la.. try to push him away la..... then when i never ask him to study and have fun with him...i feel so bloody guilty....the worst point is i want to spend time with him!!!!!!! shit man....i really brought it upon him. his bad luck to have me. wasting his time thru and thru. ok..i'll try to stop seeing u for next week... love u honey...

zee...read this....

Thursday, April 14, 2005

this morn started out nice as i signed up for a facial package...another step towards a hot babe... haha... just some few final steps...
i miss u a lot and u miss me a lot.... but at night when u tried to meet me u realised i can't be home as early as u wan me to be..so u got sad ..down and frustrated....i know ..but i can't do anything ..i can't help it...so next time u wan give me surprises..be smart k? make sure u know all my timings first ya....
realli realli touched to know u going all out to make me happy... but some thins are just not within my control...honey i am so thankful and at the same time sorry..... and a little selfish cos i dun wan these surprises to end... i wan to see u pop out suddenly lei..i realli wan..anyway just to end off... i realli missed u today alot... and thot we were veri nice to each other ..no quarrels.. made my day so relaxed..... love u honey ! :)

pray

Friday, April 08, 2005

dear god... i hope thing monstery thing on my right eye will go away quick.... hai..i veri scared it's a permanent scar...lidat how man....i dun wan be ugly..and my eyelashes are dropping cos of tt...i'm growing bald.... in the EYE!!!! yunam got eyelash care not?

revenge is sweet...

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

sound evil don't i? na.. just want to get revenge on my studies....it betrayed me once... now i'm gonna get my vengeance..... hee haa!!!... dun feel like typing anymore stuff..need to get to my accounting soon.. that time missed my mock exam.. hai damn sad.. anyway last week was eventful..had fun and BBq... so i think it's time i capture my heart and start studying real soon.... well..wish me good luck... !!